Finally got to the hospital after my clinic was cancelled a couple
of weeks ago and got the next available appointment to see my consultant which
was yesterday, a Monday rather than a Thursday. My uni clinic module
leader allowed me to miss the morning of clinic so I could go to the hospital
as uni clinic is on a Monday. So I arrive at 9.15 (joyous) and not long
after I'm called for my blood test. The (stupid fucking incompetent)
nurse who (attempted) to do my bloods sat me down and said, 'oh, you have very
little veins' whilst prodding my right arm that I didn't have ready on the arm
of the chair. So I said that the other arm is usually fine and showed her
the vein that is used. She put the needle in and didn't attach the tube
properly to collect the blood so air travelled up the plastic tube.
Great. The vein then stopped working. I began to not feel
great. She then put a new needle into the back of my right hand. By
this point I was sweating, my vision was going and I thought I was going to
throw up. Did she notice me cradling my head with my other hand? No. So I told her to remove the
needle and got outside as quickly as possible before I either passed out, threw
up or both. Luckily the main door to the clinic was close and there is a
bench outside, so I sat on that breathing deeply, trying to feel normal with
blood running down my hand. Did she follow me immediately to check I was
ok? No. Was it only when I went back inside that she noticed me?
Yes. Then another nurse who is great and never has a problem with
my apparently small and terrifying veins inserted the needle and got all the
blood needed first time with me upright and feeling fine. As the day wore
on the bruising by the first nurse got worse so I couldn't have my hand below
my waist because it hurt too much. I had to walk around like it was in a
sling. The first vein she went into is in the crook of my arm and wasn't
so bruised and swollen, but I couldn't fully extend my arm. So that was
FUN.
My
consultant.................................WASN'T FUCKING
THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was furious. Luckily my pa was with me, so
he spoke to the consultant who saw me as I sat there crying. It was only
10.30 in the morning. I told the consultant I had been promised the start
of a trial and my father could back me up as he was with me at my last
appointment. Apparently it still hasn't been signed off. I
explained that I was sick of the hospital not understanding that this is my
life and at 28 I should not be constantly restricted with what I can do and
having to cancel plans all the time etc After a while of chat, mainly
between the consultant and my pa he agreed to drop my dosage by half and to see
what happened. He did the whole 'it might not have any impact' etc etc
etc, but at least he is willing to give it a go. Probably means I can't
go in the trial if and when it takes off, but maybe as things, fingers and toes
crossed, improve, they will become more open to trying me off the meds not too
far down the line. By him doing this, I
also suspect that my consultant could have done this as well but didn’t because
of her trial.
I'm debating about formally complaining
about my possibly now ex consultant, I don't think I'll be seeing her again.
Or maybe just write her a letter explaining everything and at least that
might get acknowledged unlike the millions of emails I've sent in the past and
messages I've left with her PA.
So it should be happy news and, well to be
honest, I don't feel like it is. I feel let down and like a hospital
number to my potentially ex consultant, not like the person that I am who has been
under her 'care' for the last 6 years.
Due to lower dose, back in 6 weeks, so
will tell you more then.
Lots of love, laughter and smiles,
although, I'm not going to lie, that wasn't me yesterday it was more tears,
fury and hate,
XXX
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