I hope. I hope so much. But it's not my decision. It's out of my hands. I am a bystander. I am an adult yet I am a child. A whirlwind in my mind.
I wish I knew the right things to say. The right things to feel. So unexpected. Shock and processing. I'm sure it will be ok. At the moment I feel like my world is falling apart.
So I write. These nonsensical words that mean nothing to you and everything to me. Brain vomit. Getting it out. I need my Angels to work their magic. Where have they gone?
Smiling yet torn apart inside.
It will be ok. When my world stops falling apart.
Emily Dickinson (1830–86). Complete Poems. 1924.
ReplyDeletePart One: Life
XVI
TO fight aloud is very brave,
But gallanter, I know,
Who charge within the bosom,
The cavalry of woe.
Who win, and nations do not see, 5
Who fall, and none observe,
Whose dying eyes no country
Regards with patriot love.
We trust, in plumed procession,
For such the angels go, 10
Rank after rank, with even feet
And uniforms of snow.