Falling Apart

So many words. I can't get them out. A secret not to burden with the world. Not mine to share. So many emotions. I don't know how to feel. My world is falling apart. 

I hope. I hope so much. But it's not my decision. It's out of my hands. I am a bystander. I am an adult yet I am a child. A whirlwind in my mind. 

I wish I knew the right things to say. The right things to feel. So unexpected. Shock and processing. I'm sure it will be ok. At the moment I feel like my world is falling apart. 

So I write. These nonsensical words that mean nothing to you and everything to me. Brain vomit. Getting it out. I need my Angels to work their magic. Where have they gone?

Smiling yet torn apart inside. 

It will be ok. When my world stops falling apart.