Still me!

Well my wonderful bloglets,

I can’t believe how long it’s been since I’ve posted on here. Although this seems to be a theme. Now that I write for an American company and it has to be unique stuff for them, I write loads for them and neglect here. But. Not today!

So I still feel like me and it’s FUCKING AMAZING! I am also genuinely thinking about going running again! I just have to be careful as I do a lot of dog walking, I don’t want to completely fuck myself with running as well.

I think the biggest thing that I’ve been able to do on the new drug is to cook in a Friday evening and have friends over for supper. I haven’t been able to do this in EIGHT YEARS!!! So that’s pretty fucking fabulous.

I can get through the day AND evening on 9 hours sleep. Admittedly I’m tired at the end of the day, and I should reallly get more than that as my mother pointed out that I’m still on an oral chemotherapy. But. I can. And it’s not the same tired. It’s not the heavy fatigue. I had one day where that returned and I thought it was all over. The new me. But I think it was a blip. I had just done too much. I think the week before I had been out every night! AND I ALSO HAVENT WORRIED ABOUT HOW MUCH SLEEP I’LL GET EACH NIGHT IN WEEKS.

I can also stand up and other than that one blip, I haven’t word my ‘Cancer On Board’ and ‘please offer me a seat’ badges since my chemo break! AND I DON’T WORRY ABOUT NEEDING TO SIT DOWN WHEN I’M OUT AND ABOUT

Work is so much busier. I’ve had quite a few new patients book in who have come to me via my website/online. It’s like the universe knows I can deal with it.

I feel like this might all sound a bit, I don’t know, not excited or happy enough. I really am. I just pray to fuck that it’s working. I find out a week on Monday. I am on the lowest dose do my consultant can increase it. I just worry that the increased dose will potentially mean that I won’t feel as good. I’ve never worried about blood test results. Not once in over 11 and a half years, so it’s weird to be worried. I try not to focus  on it. What will be will be. I just really hope that it is controlling my leukaemia rate and it hasn’t shot up.

So with so much hope,
XxX