Tuesday, 21 December 2010

Wow - what a year

Well I can't believe that 2010 is nearly up, and fuck, what a year it has been!!!  I've gone from employed and having a quarter life crisis not knowing what I want to do, so resigned from my job.  Was unemployed for a bit, then employed again and now a student (again!).  That is a seriously short way to sum up the year considering it has involved a court case, moving flat, applying to Uni, becoming too old for the Teenage Cancer Trust (shhhh), going to 11 Downing Street, meeting Dave Grohl (ahhh, swoon, ahh, swoon, blush, blush, blush!) having my first TCT buddy die, having a Healing Journey aka my cancer course die (this only happened in the last week so more on this in a bit), having my Godfather diagnosed with cancer, Grandfather was pretty ill, I'm sure it was cancer but don't want to say it with authority in case it wasn't....but I'm 99% is was....yes, I'm a shite grandchild....my platelets being normal for the first time in nearly 4 years, was in a relationship (very briefly, and don't think I mentioned it on here) for the first time in ooooh, a bloody long time, hang on and I'll work it out.......2 years, and am now not (and haven't been for nearly a year), little brother moving to Singapore for 3 years...so it's been quite a year!  I've also been better at doing this blog, started video blogs for jimmyteens.tv and everything else I can't think of at this moment and I've probably mentioned anything of great significance on here anyways.

So at the moment I am at the rentals for a couple of weeks over Christmas and til New Years (still don't know what to do, suggestions anyone??) which is a good thing because when I was on my home on Saturday I left snow in London and was told with slight smugness from my Mother that there wasn't any at home.  Well, that wasn't the case 3 hours later.  My father and I nearly got stuck in the snow coming home...thank you kind resident of Brantham who gave the car a shove!  I think there was something mental like 6 inches in half an hour.  Which to be honest made me VERY excited as I LOVE the snow and there hasn't been enough in London to satisfy my love for snow.  It now has been, and to make it even better, lots of the snow has stayed perfect and NOT walked on or turned into snowmen etc which makes me even happier.  I HATE it when the snow gets ruined.  On Sunday we had to walk to the local shop over snowy fields (cue 'ahhh') as the car was snowed in.  On the walk I had a phone call from a Healing Journey friend (it's the course I've been doing for coming up for 2 years run at the local Macmillan funded (I think) centre in Clapham).  The course is amazing and technically over, but a few of us from my course and the group who did it before us were not ready for it to be over, so one of the facilitators from my course very kindly gives up an evening of his time once a month and we still meet.  Anyways one of the group, a member from my course, had breast cancer and it came back in her bones and spread to her liver etc and I knew everything wasn't going brilliantly, but she was so strong and brave and positive and upbeat and never let on how bad it was, and to my great sadness Liane rang me to tell me that she had died last week.  It was a shock as I didn't think things were that bad, but on the flip side Neelam died being strong and still looking well and it was quick, and she didn't have to suffer for a long time.  Cancer is really shit.  I've had enough of people dying or being diagnosed with cancer.  And I'm feeling a bit miserable about it especially as my 4 year anniversary is coming up in less than a month.

I can't believe it's nearly 4 years, especially as I thought it would all be over by now.  And you know what, I don't care about Christmas presents and Christmas cards etc etc etc  If  I could have one present for the rest of my life (well maybe not the rest of my life, maybe the next couple of years....) it would be for my check up on the 4th January to show that the Leukaemic rate is 0.00%, my platelets are 140 and I can start my 2 year count down to coming off  the chemo.  I've had enough. Sorry for the rather maudlin self indulgent rant, especially as I like this to be up beat and positive, sometimes times you just have to say it as it is, and I would like to have my life back completely as mine.

Can't really think if anything else.  Got 68% in my maths coursework which I was amazed by!  I don't think I've ever had that high a score in maths in my life!!  I also got 100% in a physics thing, but all the answers were on google - we were allowed to use it, I wasn't cheating, so at least all my hours procrastinating on google has paid off and I'm good at finding out info!!

Right, think I should bugger off now as I should do some more of my final piece of Physics coursework before I start Biology revision, woop woop!!

Lots of love, smiles, laughter and healing light for those who need a bit of it over Christmas,

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