Quite possibly the last post til Jan

Dear all,

Was at the Western once again this morning, with my lovely flatmate in tow! Not much to report, platelets up to 138 which is coolio hoolio, and white count is 4.2 so that's all good. Will have a check up in a couple of weeks at the Hammersmith to see how the platelet count is . I'm also not as tired and the hair has stopped falling out, so I had an inkling that the platelet count would be higher again this week.

In the new year I think my consultant up here is going to slowly up the dosage to see how my body reacts to it.

Have been very busy with friends up here, watching people ice skate (and fall over, highly amusing) at the temporary ice rink in Princes Street Gardens, drinking mulled wine and having a great week. Have once again spent rather a lot of money, so all donations welcome.....

Driving home tomorrow, oh the joys of living 400 odd miles away from uni, but am driving 2 friends with me, so will have company for the first time ever which will be nice! (on the drive that is, I'm not a loner all the time!)

Hope alls well with everyone etc etc etc

Lots of Love, laughter and smiles,
XXX

First post another year older...

Just a quickie as am quite tired after a wonderful but busy birthday weekend, which I managed to make last from Fri til Tues, I know, very clever of me!!! And have also had people to stay for nearly a week....

Anyways, good news from last Thurs was platelet count up to 88...can't remember the other counts I'm afraid, but have another check up this thurs so will let you know all the counts then.

Hope alls well with everyone, and another post on Thurs, as am going home of Fri, and prob won't be able to post all of the christmas hols due to gay internet at home!!

Lots of love, laughter and smiles as usual,
XXX

Leukaemic rate

Just to let you know, the leukaemia has dropped from 41% to 4.77% so that's all good!!

XXX

still got blood like water

Dear all,

Sorry for not posting lat week, I kept on meaning to, and then things got in the way, like afternoon tv. It's the best line up, neighbours, doctors, diagnosis murder (bbc 1) then a bit of Rosemary Shragers cooking school and then Midsomer Murders (channel 3), so you can see how my time is filled up with oh so importnant engagements!!!

I am also very busy being exhausted the whole time at the moment, hence the afternoon tvage. I have a good routine at the mo, get up, go for a swim (don't worry, very gentle pootle up and down the lanes) come home, have lunch and semi sleep all afternoon. I then might drag myself off the sofa and go to a friends to sit on their sofa, then come home and possibly feed people. It's a thrilling life!

Ok, so last week....white cell count was down to 4.9 and platelets 53, so my chemo dosage was reduced from 100mg a day to 70. This week my white count was 5.7 and platelets was 54, so not a huge rise, but I've been told to keep going on 70mg and see how it is next Thurs. I have told Dr. Shepherd about my exhaustion, oh and the fact that my hair is coming out again when I wash it, and the helpful response was, 'well your haemaglobin (if that's how it's spelt) levels are fine.....' GOOD!!! I mentioned that I'm still hardly functioning in the afternoon as she said the same once again, also it might be due to the weather as it's FREEEEEEEEEEEEEZING at the mo!! She also said that hopefully when my body properly adjusts to the new chemo it should get better. Watch this space......

Claudia was up last week which was really great to see her and spend a couple of days just us! She also cooked and did all the washing up for me etc, so it was nice to have a break from that! I also had a bit of a rant/what the hell am I going to do with my life conversation. Any suggestions from anyone?? Do you think I should do the extra year here and leave with a masters (remember it's not the same as a masters from an English uni, it's not of same the level, our's is not so good) or leave with a general degree with all my friends, and explain the circumstances to any prospective employers as to why I left with a general degree.... On that note, does anyone want to employ me when I leave uni???? I think I'm having this stress as all my friends are applying for jobs and I don't know what to do. They are also applying to city law firms and all the banks etc, which this time last year I was definately up for, but don't think it's me any more. I'm thinking more along working in the art world, maybe re search of some sort, but I don't really know!! If someone could plan the next ten years for me, that would be ace!!

The rents are up tomorrow which will be nice, as I'm being taken out to the witchery, which is one of THE lushest restuarants in the Burg. I hear you say, 'why are you going there?' It's cause it'm my birthday on Sun, so all presents are welcome!! Can't believe I'm going to be 23, I remember when Claudia was 23 and I though how big and grown up she was. For a start, yeah right!! (no offense Claudy) and I still feel how I did when I was 16. And it's all ok, cause Claudia is going be 30 in the very near future, HA! So it's all good!!

I think that's about it, can't really think of much else. Wow, this is quite a post compared to my recent ones!

What else, not sure really, yet another check up next thurs. Think I'm going to have to change arms when I have my blood test as the scarring is not very pretty!! It's also begining to hurt when then do the test. Oh, and last week, they forgot to label a thing of blood, again!! So my arm has not been very nice to look at! Sorry (well not really, if I was that sorry, I'd delete what I've typed!!) to tell you all this, especially if you are a bit squimish, but you'll get over it!!

Well I think I shall now bugger off, and go meet my friends who is buying me lunch! Am excited!!

Lots of love laughter and smiles,

XXX

Looking like a junkie

Well all,

On Thursday I once again traipsed down to the Western General for yet another check up...White count 7.2, platelets 157, so that is all good. And am back once again next Thurs. Next week will be more fun though cause my darling sis is up and she can come and experience gods waiting room with me, as all my friends are gay at the moment and can't come as they are chained to their desks in the library with essays/dissertations etc etc etc

I am also begining to look like a junkie with scars on my arms from the 120000000000000 blood tests I have had, and also because on thursayd (or in english, Thursday) I had my blood test as usual, and when I was called to go and wait in the second waiting room by the consultants room I was led into the blood test room, which I thought was a tad odd....It was because the nurse who had done my original test hadn't labeled the tube so the lab wouldn't process it, soooooo I had to have another test. Due to this I have two rather red needle marks on my arm and nice redness/bruising around it...nice!! Yay for overworked nurses who don't have enough breaks and therefore forget to do things!!!

Next week I'll try and convince them to do the other arm, but they don't like it as much as the veins are smaller and tend to jump around! Sorry for those of you with squimish dispositions....

Can't think of much else, am going to see the foo Fighters next weekend which I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So until Thursay, I shall say adieu!

lots of love, laughter and smiles,

XXX

Another week has flown by

Dear all,

Can't believe it's Thursday again already!! Where is the time going???

Ok, so check up today, white count up to 8.8 which is good and platelets up to 167, so the chemo seems to be agreeing with me this week!!

Have another check up next thurs, so more news then!

Hope all's well with everyone,

Lots of love, laughter and smiles as per usual!
XXX

Surprise surprise....

Well dear ones,

What a surprise, I can't sign in to my blog at home....it must be the parentals laptops...need to set up wireless when I'm home at Christmas...

I had a chack up at the Hammersmith last tues, and my white count was 6.2 and my platelets were up to 119, so I have re started the chemo. I will eith have a check up either on Tues or Thurs at the Western in the Burg so will post again with more medical news.

Had a lush time at home, the house is lush and I had a fab time with the cats...oh and the rents of course!!

Am now off to the pub...of course to drink diet coke, I might even go crazy and have an orange juice!!

Lots of love, laughter and smiles,
XXX

A pic of me!!!!

Well, I have worked out how to put pics on here...so here's one of me from 2 weeks ago. Was about to help a friend at a night he organises, I don't wear that much make up during the day!!!

Off the chemo

Well my dears, this week I went for my check up on a tues as my consultant is away tomorrow which was exciting. I was also in and out in half an hour, woop!! AND it wasn't gods waiting room, so I was a happy bunny!!

On the not so great side, I've been taken off the chemo for a week as my platelet count has dropped to 49...(I think it was about 235 2 weeks ago)it should be about 150-200, so that's a bit of an arse. I'm also off home on Sat for a week, so shall be going to the Hammersmith next tues, to see how the count is.....

So with not much else to report, shall bugger off, and post again on Tues.

Lots of love, laughter and smiles,
XXX

DLA allowence

Well my lovelies,

Just a little note with some good news. Do you remember me mentioning the DLA (Disability Living Allowence), well it was applied for and denied, and today was the appeal.

I was hoping to get a nice large amount of 75 squids a week, but that was when I was crippled by pain from the last lot of chemo...Unfortunately, or not, depending on how you look at it, I wasn't allowed that amount as I'm not crippled by pain.

So, today I was granted £17.10 a week which is ace as it all helps. Especially as it's back dated from when the originall application was sent. So I shall be getting a nice cheque of just under £450, woop woop!!

Hope alls coolio hoolio with everyone,

Lots of love, laughter and smiles,
XXX

2nd week of new chemo

Well all, not much to report. Still side affect free, other than being a bit more tired, so that's all groovy.

The white cell count today was 10.2 and platelets down to 225, so that's all coolio. Next check up in 2 weeks.

That's all I can think of....if I think of anything else, fear not, I shall be on this in a flash to tell you all.

Lots of love, laughter and smiles.

XXX

1st week of new chemo

Well my beloved readers,

It's been a week on the new chemo and so far so good. (cross fingers, toes, eyes, arms, legs...anything that will cross, touch all wood as you pas it etc etc etc that it will continue like this!)

Check up yesterday, cell count down to 16.2 and platelets were 399, so that's all good as well.

I've had a fairly manic week seeing people being the oh so popular person that I am! Last night it was just me and my flatty in and it was odd that no one was over for sups, and that there was no where to go after supper other than bed! I would also like to add at this point thatI made a particulary (can't spell) bloody yummy soup, so went to bed at about 10pm, (yes I am a crazy crazy person) a very contented little bunny!

Today I went to a launch thing for the formation of Youth Cancer Forum Scotland, so if you hear anything about it, check it out, and if there is press about supporting it, SUPPORT IT!!! I had a really good time actually and met a few people that have had cancer and had a real giggle with them which was actually really great. I've avoided everything I've been invited to by my Click Sargeat (ok, quick plug, Milo..for those of you who read this and don't know me, he's my younger brother, is hoping to raise money for Click Sargent (and therefore me!!) by running the London Marathon in March or April, or whenever it its. As the time gets close I will be mentioning it ALL THE TIME so start saving your pennies up NOW to sponser him!) up here to do with young and cancer as I haven't felt like being with other people who have cancer due to their appearance (ie looking ill) etc, but as I've been diagnosed for over 8 months (fuck, how time flies!) and I know that I'm fine etc etc I felt that I should go and support it as it's important, and it was due to people in that room that I've had such good support etc It was also really funny cause the people there (who have either been given the all clear, or are on 6 month/ yearly check ups etc) were amazed that I was only diagnosed in Jan as I look so well etc etc which was a real boost actually. I also left the lunch with a real lift which was also a bit of a surprise, as I didn't really know what today was going to be like etc. I don't want to give the impression that I'm not happy most/all of the time, cause I am....I just didn't expect to feel so good after spending so much time with people who have/had cancer.

Feel free to check out the website from today.....www.ycfscot.org

What else, not sure, that's about it really I think. Got another check up next thurs, so will be back then with more cell count updates.

As always, lot of love, laughter and smiles,
XXX

Back in the Burg

Dear All,

Well it's been a while since the last post, and I know it's cause I've been fairly crap, but I hope that this will make up for the silence...

Well where to start, hmmmm, prob with what has happened since the last blog, rather than the most recent thing and work backwards. Mainly because it makes sense to start from where I left off, and also becuase I think this is going to be quiter a mammoth post, and I will start going all over the place if I work backwards from today and confuse you all even more than I normally do!

Ok, so, IVF..... I have had the procedure and they managed to collect 16 eggs which is fantastic as they say 12 is pretty impressive, so go me! Although I was conscious during the proceedure I can't remember it, which is probably a good thing! Felt fine during the rest of the day, was a bit dopey, but was to be expected. That night I woke up in THE MOST EXCRUCIATING (and yes, that is how you spell it in my world) pain and ended up in Swindon A & E, which to be fair to Swindin was perfectly acceptable and seemed to be pretty clean, so well done swindon! They decided to keep me in over night in case I was producing a lot if fluid in the ovaries or bleeding, which to be fair, I was amazed that I wasn't after beeing jabbed at for about half an hour with a needle...anyways, was put in a bed on a ward and was allowed to go home the next afternoon. Oh, and whilst all this was going on I was meant to be packing up my room for the move......

The next day, Thursday, I took myself off the the Hammersmith for a final IVF check, and although was so swollen (looked about 5 months pregnant.....) and in quite a lot of pain, everything looked fine, and they weren't concerned. After the IVF check up, I toddled over to Haematology where I had stem cells taken. This consisted of two drips, one taking blood and feeding it into a machine, and the other feeding the blood minus the stem cells back into my body. It took about 3 and a half hours, and although a bit dull cause I wasn't allowed to move my arms due to rather huge neeedles in my veins and they didn't want them to dislodge, was fine cause my lovely cousin came and kept me company. I didn't end up finishing at the hospital til 5.30 and was meant to vbe driving myself back home, but as I'd been up since 7 and had effectively been through a blood transfusion, the rents decided to come and get me...Also during the taking of stems cells my legs and face had gone really tingly due to my blood being stripped of calcium, it probably wasn't the best idea for me to drive. It's a shame I haven't worked out how to put pics on this cause I had 2 very impressive bandages on my arms (due to the huge needles), and 2 smaller ones...I caused a bit of a stir when we went out for supper that night, as you coud see a bit of one of the bandages on my wrist, and the waitor thought I'd slit my wrist....good!!!

The next morning was the day of the move, oh and also the funny thing was that as I had been in hospital for basically the whole week I hadn't been able to do my packing, and they had packed my drugs, including the £42.50 per injection injections in the lorry and could't get to them, so had to inject myself a good 12 hours late (I had to inject for 5 days after the procedure so my ovaries calmed down and didn't go crazy). I was also driving that afternoon to Oxford as I was going to holiday the next morning at 4am, and my suitcase was also nowhere to be seen......

So we get to the new house (me and daddy at about 3pm, the lorry was supposedly going to be there by 4pm YEAH RIGHT!!!!) and wait for the lorry. They had been told it would take them 2 hours from near Swindon to near Colchester. The m25 on a friday afternoon, need I say more??? (it took them about 6 hours) So they eventually turned up at about 7pm. I had aimed to leave by about 4pm, to pick up a friend on the way. To cut a long story short, I left home at about 11.45 and got to Oxford at 3am and left there at 4am, oh and I was still limited on the movement front etc due to ovary pain...it was a FUN couple of dauys!!!! The plus side was a week in the sun in Mallorca with really great friends, and a fucking lush house to come home to at the end of it!

Right, that's the end of the summer in a nut shell. I am now back in the Burg and started the new chemo yesterday morning, so we shall have to wait and see.....It's better than the other one in as much as I don't have to take it on a full stomach etc etc etc which means I take it when I get up, so don't have to worry about forgetting when I go out or supper etc etc etc It also means I can eat what I want and don't have to plan incase it makeds me feel sick..woo!!!

Well that's about it really, and I'm bored of typing, oh just thought of somthing rather crucial, on Thurs at my check up, my count was 24, when I was in A and E it was 83....

More next week after the next check up....

Lots of love, laughter and smiles,
XXX

a posting from pimlico

Dear All,

I am aware that I have been very quiet on the whole blog front. The main reason being that I can't do it at home, but this will probably change once we move (next fri) and you never know, the internet there may be different and allow me to log on...!!! I have also spent the most wonderful week in Sardinia, so obviously was not going to waste precious sun worshipping time on the net!

I am tired at the mo as have been up at stupid o'clock for the last god knows how many days as I can only go to the IVF clinic between 7.30 and 9.30 am and have to be there almost daily (oh the joys) and can't really be arsed to write a huge long update which I now I really should do....

Haematology stuff....all is good, off all drugs, white cell count was up a bit (16) last check up, but was to be expected. Next check up 10th Sept when I will prob have stems cells taken if the count has gone up to 50 or more...

IVF stuff...all good, having to inject myself daily with hormones..it's amazing what you will do when you have to! Am not a complete hormonal mess which is nice, and think I'll have the eggs collected next monish. I'm sure I have more to say, but really can't think of anything. Am also sitting in an internet cafe in Pimlico and the house where I am staying at this week is just around the corner and I can hear the sofa calling me and there are a couple of trashy films that I have lined up to watch so think I will bugger off!

Sorry this isn't really that informative, everything is going well and I'm fine etc etc etc which I suppose is the most important part! Not sure when the next entry will be, possibly when I'm back at uni (12th ish) after the move and spending 8 days in Mallorca (HA HA HA enjoy the crap weather in sunny old England).

Lota of love etc etc etc

XXX

The truth about IVF....

Dear All, Hmmm.. have just thought, have I written about my meeting with Mr. Panay, I don't think so, let me check.....no I haven't.... Ok, so went to the Hammersmith last Friday to see Mr. Panay (who is apparently THE expert, and have since found out that he's not, and didn't really explain anything...)who said I can either have eggs frozen or tissue from my ovary removed and frozen. As I think the Haematology department are getting eager for me to start the new chemo, he made me an appointment for yesterday to begin, as I thought, hormone injections to prepare my body to have eggs harvested and frozen, but of course this was not the case and the Gynaecology department, are, well for want of a better word, SHIT! Yesterday after trotting between two departments as I wasn't on the screen and Gyne didn't know what was going on, surprise, surprise, apparently I had an appointment booked for NOVEMBER 2nd, NOT August 2nd....and I'm afraid I lost my temper and bit....went back to the department they had sent me to, can't remember who they are, and they instead of sending me back to Gyne rang them and sorted out what was going on, so I eventually saw the doctor. So instead of starting the process, I had yet another consultation, but to be fair the doctor was really nice and spent loads of time really explaining what the two options are and the procedures and pro's and con's etc Due to statistics etc I will go for the egg freezing as it has the highest success rate, oh yes, and that's only 10%....!!! With the tissue freezing there have only been 3 live births worldwide and none in England.....! So good! Oh and also, in England I can't get the IVF done on the NHS so it's going to cost....wait for it.....nearly £4,000, not including the £200 a year cost for freezing...so am going to try and find out if I can get it done on the NHS in Edinburgh.... What else, that's about it really, got another haematology appointment on Monday and then I'm off to Sardinia, can't fucking wait, am gonna get sooooooooo brown!!! And read Harry Potter as I've been saving it, and have a nice relaxed time (as my life is soooo stressful, obviously as I have a manic job and am never at home, always chained to my desk...!!!!)m On that note of being busy, I'm currently in Manchester as I've been helping my cousin move to London... Well me thinks that's about it, will try and get on this before I go away to let you all know when I'm going ahead with the IVf and let you know my check up results. XXX

IVF stuff

Sooooooooooooo, I went back to the Hammersmith on Tues to see Mr. Panay, the expert and only consultant I can see to discuss what's going to happen to me etc etc etc and gues what..HE WASN'T BLOODY THERE!!!!!!!! Thank god I had an unofficial heamatology appointment as well otherwise I would have gone fucking ballistic as I would have travelled to london and spent £30 on travel for nothing! So I get an earlier train to go to Haematology first to have a blood test (no worries, ate something whilst waiting so no near feinting...!! And the nurse was the same one as last time and also quadrouple checked..!!!) and then trot over to Gyne to announce my arrival. At least this time I was on the system, and expected and they had my notes. A miracle! The only fuck up, a lack of the consutant, so saw someone else who couldn't help and made the wonderful announcement of as I've already been on chemo, they might not be able to do the procedure...GREAT!!! I do not believe this is true as in Edinburgh they said that Glevec wouldn't affect fertility.

So, I was a little bit irritated and have been squeezed into the clinic on Friday at 11, which means getting my old buddy, the 8.45 train, which means, yes, it will be expensive and it's early and blah blah blah. If he's not there on Fri, they are going to see the biggest hissy fit they have EVER seen!! I also want to start the process going, as I have, well so far, very little faith in the competance of the Gyne department and don't want to be traipsing down from Edinburgh to have the procedure done etc cause they've taken so long to get their acts together!! Would also like to start the new chemo to see how I react to it and if I don't react well to get it sorted at the Hammersmith rather than in Edinburgh, cause lets face it, the Hammersmith is much better!

On the haematology front, everything is fine, white cell 4.9, platelets up a bit to 178, but it's all under control...!

As I finish house sitting tomorrow morning when I get on the train, I shan't be able to update my blog unless a miracle has happened at home with the laptops and broadband and let me log in, so shall write again as soon as I can....

I also hope that someone who reads this is having nice sunny weather, and not the rain that I am experiancing (every day...sun...summer???? Where is it??) If you are, tell me where you are, because I'm coming to stay!!

Lots of love etc etc
XXX

A rather dramatic check up

Well dear readers I have had yet another check up yesterday, and for once it was rather exciting, well in as much as I was quite dramatic! So I shall tell you everything from the begining.

I had a phone call last Friday saying that I had been squeezed in to a clinic at Gynaecology to see the consultant Nick Pannay at 11 on Tues the 18th. I thought brillo, cause my haematology check up was at 11.45. So I had to get up extra early (7.30..YUK!) to get the 8.47 to arrive at Paddington at 09.50, because if I got the later train, I would have got in at 10.50 and no way in hell would I have got to the hospital by 11. As it turned out I should have got the later train anyways, and been able to travel for just under 16 quid including tube all day instead of 23 pounds something, and then put money on my Oyster (for those of you unaware of said Oyster card, it's a pay as you go pass for the tube and bus that's cheaper than buying tickets from machines, unless of course you get the train AND bus/tube for fifteen squids...) anyways, enough of the cost of public transport rant.

So I arrived at the hospital at about 5 to 11 and told the receptionist that I had an appointment at 11 etc etc and that I had been rung on Fri about it etc etc The 'kind and helpful' (my arse, one of THE most UNHELPFUl) person in reply said, you're not on the system and I don't know anything about this, which was the response to everything said when I have to repeat to various people infront of the recpetionist what was happening/had happened...great! I then go and sit and wait for it to be resolevd. I'm then told that Mr. Pannay doesn't know anything about me going to the clinic, when I'm booked in for the following tues (thank god I didn't cancel the orginal appointment when I was told I was squeezed into yesterdays clinic) and also that they don't have my notes. Can I go to Haematology and get them and take them back and then they MIGHT be able to see me.

I then trotted over to the wonderful, efficiant, organized receptionists at my beloved haematology, where after walking throught the door just a little flustered and hot with cardigan and pashmina flying all over the place, I was greeted with a 'hello Katherine...are you ok?'. I explained what whas going on, was told that Gynaecology did have my notes, they had collected them the previous fri and that they are generally a disorganized nightmare! And got on the phone to try and sort it out, rather than making me go all over the hospital to try and sort it out. As Gynaecology should have done in the first place rather than making me do it, when they were aware of the Leukaemia, and STIll sent me trotting! By this point it was 11.20 and I thought sod it, sat down in Haematology and spent the next couple of hours there!

So I still have my consultation on tues to discuss the removal of eggs to be frozen...

Right, so how was my blood count etc...oh this is where is gets a bit dramatic!

When having my blood taken I began to feel REALLY weak/dizzy/feint etc so said to the nurse. It was also at this point that the blood was, well not flowing very well into the tube thing and the nurse removed the needle and got me some water. Instead of feeling better, which I usually do if I feel feint. Now I am not one of those people who feints at blood test, and I thought this was rather odd. I told her that it may be because I was a bit hungry as I had been up for hours, and my breakfast on the train of 2 apples and a pear was a lot then, (at 9am) was probable not doing much at 12.30. I had also been eating brazil nuts just before my blood test, so was slightly confuzzeled. She decided to take my blood pressure which was somethin like 55 over 60 or something and promptly made me lie down on a bed and call another nurse as I think she was worried that it was so low(and that I hadn't collapsed and was worried that I was going to!) She then trotted off to get me a cup of tea, and a couple of buscuits. ( I love the staff in Haematology!!) After about 15/20 mins I was back to my usual self and she finished the blood test with me lying down....!!!

I then went back to the waiting room and then saw the consultant. I think I have now seen every consultant there! Unlike in Edinburgh, where I only see Pat Sheppard, at the Hammersmith I see all the team. My white cell count is 4, which is fine, my platelets were around 109. I say around because when I had the test, they all clotted together which is why the blood tricked so slowly. Due to this they had to re do that blood test and am awaiting a phone call to see what the actual count is, and if I have to adjust the cell killing drug I'm taking.

So that was my rather dramatic check up yesterday!

I think thats about it really. Panic not about my bodys attempt at feinting, am absolutely fine!!

Can't think of anything else of importance.

More on Tues or Wed after the IVF consutation!

Lots of love, smiles and laughter.
XXX

A say in London

Well dear readers, am currently in London Town (well Tooting...is that actually in London...debatable!!!) staying with my darling sister, so am able to log in to my blog, woop!! (the laptop won't let me type in the title bar, hense the no name....pretend it's called 'Notes from London'.)

Had another check up last Wed, all is well. White cell count 4.9, which is apparently fine and not low and nothing to worry about. Apparently when it get's to about 0.01 you begin to worry...Platelets down to something like 380ish, can't really remember, but it's all good as everything is under control.

As it's sunny, yes, it's England, it's July and the sun is FINALLY here, Claudia is playing what she calls schpangle, yes, exactly. Similar what the fuck thoughts came to my mind as well. Not sure if I've spelt it correctly, but as it's a word she's blatently made up to refer to a type of music she doesn't know the coreect terminology for, I can spell it how I like!

I have an IVF appointment booked for the 24th, yes it is quite a long way away, so my consultant is trying to get me bumped up the list. I say good luck, because the receptionist I have had the pleasure of talking to 3 times, is the most unhelpful person I have EVER come across, and obviously doesn't listen as I had to explain something three times...or she's not that bright....

I might have stem cells taken which will be fun!! Or not...hooked up to a machine for about 3 hours. That's fine and potentially exciting, as long as it doesn't hurt! I have so far escaped the most painful thing that could have happened so far, a bone marrow test, and I aim to escape all things painful for as long as pos. Not sure about the huge fuck off mile long needle that will go into my ovary though.....

Anyways, enough of this talk of long needles, cause I know that if my dear papa is reading this, he will be sitting down and slightly green...!!!!!

What else, I don't really know. Another check up in about 10 days. Been riding alot, have some exciting house sitting coming up! TV, WOOP!!! So happy!!! Have a friends birthday dinner party tonight, and that's about it really. Nothing of interest comes to mind. Although to be fair, I don't always put things of interest on this!!

As Claudia is up and about, and we need to decide what to do today, I shall bugger off!!

Love, laughter and smiles as usual!
XXX

Part 2 one the double whammy

Well I have finally managed to get onto this!!! It is actually Sunday, and I am killing time before I go off to Hyde Park, and watch bands in the rain....

Check up on Wed was fine. Cell count up a bit, 25, and platelets down to 583. Have another check up in 2 weeks time. I will hopefully have heard/had an appointment with the IVF people, and will be trottng up to the Burg to pivk up the drugs...

Mummy has returned and shall move so she can do sme work, which is why she is here on a Sunday. Hope everyone is well etc etc etc and shall write again soon, maybe tomorrow, if I end up going to a friends....

XXX

part one of the double whammy

Dear all,

Well you lucky things are getting two postings today!! This is because I am rather crap, and have just had my second check up since being at home, and due to crapness of internet at home, have not had the opportunity to put a post up after my first appointment. So this post shall be dedicated to my first check up and happenings since then.

I had my check up on the morning of the 28th or 29th, can’t remember, 3 weeks ago anyway! My white cell count was down to 13.9 and platelets to 583, so all is well on that front. The cell killing drug is doing its work, and leaving me like me, and able to live my life with no hindrance, which is nice! So have of course continued damage to my liver, going out partying etc etc etc The new drug, dasatanib has been approved, so shall be going on that, but, dear readers, only after I have gone up to Edinburgh to pick it up. Yes, I have to go on an 18 hour round trip to sit in god’s waiting room for two hours, and to see my consultant for 30 seconds to get it. Oh the joy of England and Scotland having different NHS systems and prescription pads!! Because, I do believe it is due to the different pad that I have to go to Edinburgh, oh and because my consultant won’t post it, as she HAS to see me in person. Take a deep breath, hold it, count to three, exhale slowly and smile! This is of course what I did not do. When finding this out I yelled at my father, because it was obviously his fault as he was the nearest person to me, walked round the garden muttering at a rather loud and clear volume various colourful phrases!! I then realised, that my amazing wonderful brilliant saint like clic sergeant can get me the money for the train, thank god, as it’s already 80 quid…I kid you not! And can see my Edinburgh buddies and go out, and lets face it, no pretending, get hideously drunk! Do you see a pattern emerging with me, alcohol, and no side affects?!?!?!?


So what will happen with the new drug, that we do not know, but fingers crossed, not what happened with the last lot! Bugger, just realised that I haven’t asked about drinking and it….hmmmmm maybe my liver will get the rest it’s been begging me for….!!! Also as it’s new, they don’t know what it will do to fertility, so am seeing a fertility consultant (a man…of course!) at the Hammersmith to talk about getting eggs harvested and frozen etc. On reflection this is a good thing, cause if it does end up in a bone marrow transplant, at least this bit will have been done, so one less thing to go through. And it’s a good back up as my darling big sister pointed out. So I can take a cocktail of drugs every night, drink Odd Bins dry, do what ever I want, and still know that when I’m 70 and want to become the oldest mother, and get into the Guiness Book of Records, which face it, is my ultimate dream, I can!!

What else to report, don’t know really. Am having a lovely time at home seeing friends, and spending all my non existent money!! But then again, not much change there!!(ooh a thunder storm has begun, I LOVE thunder storms!!!!) Should probably expand on my social life, hmmmm, lets see…Spent a weekend in Oxford, bumped into someone I was at school with which was inevitable, but still odd!! Ate a lot, drank even more, and had a great time! I also had the pleasure of seeing a family friend who was over from America, for the most yum supper, and then again for afternoon tea. Yes, I am highly sophisticated and civilized!!! And spent a lot of time laughing, which is always good!! It was also nice that she had no problem whatsoever dishing the dirt on the rents, always a pleasure to hear what they got up to. I’m gifted with the memory of an elephant, and it’s funny what I can remember being told at crucial moments when needing ammunition against them! (But to be honest, it’s not that often, as I’m allowed to do basically what I want, I have a car, can drive (always a good combination as opposed to having a car and not being able to drive!), am 22 and have no problem whatsoever telling my father to fuck off!!!!) I was also told that I look like a debutant, woo!!! Rich husband here I come!!!

It’s odd, I know I’ve been quite busy, but when sitting down and trying to remember what I’ve been up to it’s a blank…apparently it’s to do with age…..

I’m still waiting to hear from the uni to find out that it’s been okayed that I can go back and finish my 3rd year next year, but as my DOS is the most incompetent man on this planet, I probably won’t hear till I email and ask, so should probably do that!

Am still persuading the father to get a wireless router…..

I’m afraid that my mind seems to have emptied I think it’s from being in the sun all day….one good thing about unemployment on sunny days, my tan is coming along beautifully!! And worry not, am wearing high factors, so no burning or anything nasty like that for me!

Aerosmith on Sunday, am soooooooooo excited!!! V I P as well!!! How much do you all hate me?!?! HA HA HA!!!!!!!!! For those of you on facebook, there will be pics….

Sorry this is rather uneventuful, I may think of things to say of amusement when sitting in Mummy’s office tomorrow posting about the check up tomorrow!

Lots of love, smiles and laughter as usual!!
XXX

found

Just to let you know that if you were about to contribute to my charity so I can get a new camera, don't cause it has turned up!! YAY!!! (a friend had walked off with it.....)

photos

Well I can't work out how to get photos onto the bolg, so have put an album on www.ofoto.com
If you are a member just log in and the album is called, Kats progress and recover from Leukaemia. I shall put a link on here, and hopefully it will work....
http://www.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=357720352105.
327925160505.1179577224200&page=1&sort_order=0&navfolderid=0&folderid=0&ownerid=0

I don't know if that will work, you might have to become a member and then search.....sorry, not very helpful!!!

A few of the pics are from Thursday and the races and the evening out...

XXX

Fun and Frolics in the Burg so far...

Dear All,

Well what to say?? As you have seen from my little post on Thursday I have had a check up. I was quite surprised at how my white cell count had risen quite so much in the space of 3 weeks to a month. I suppose it shows that the Gelvec was working although it made my life miserable and rather hellish. For those of you who haven't seen my little post from the other day, my white count is up from 10 at the Hammersmith check-up to 59. Due to this and that my platelet count has only dropped from 700 to 617, my dosage of hydroxycarbamide (it just kills off cells, was on it when I was in the hospital and the first couple of weeks I was out) has been put up from one mg to one and a half, or from two pills to three a day...I'm nay bothered on these drugs as they don't affect how I feel.

On a slightly rantish note, I'm not a big fan of my Edinburgh consultant as she has not written what would be helpful on my disabliity living allowence form, grrr grrr grrr which means they'll prob say no, and then I will have to appeal etc etc which is a REAL arse as I'm not working over the summer for obvious reasons and was hoping that I would be getting this by then, and it would be my income...stupid bloody medics...and she was the one who was like Glevec is soooooooooooo amazing, you'll lead a normal life and it won't affect you and it's amazing and wonderful and brilliant etc etc etc big fat bollocks it was!!!! Anyways.....so if any of you want to contribute to the Kat/Katie/Katherine (however you know me!!!) is seriously poor and won't be able to do anything over the summer due to having no money charity........

On the plus side I won't be on any chemo til at least the first week of June, WOO which means 2 more pain free fun weeks!!! On that note, you shall be pleased to hear that I have been having a nice busy social life since coming back to the burg, and as I'm no longer on my old buddies called dyhdracodine, so I can.....wait for it......drink, woo!! Hmmmm, I think I might have mentioned this in the post I did when I got back here. My drinking started again, the day before coming back up here, and well in true Kat/Katie/Katherine Ruane stylee, I didn't start drinking again slowly by having maybe a glass or two of wine with a meal etc, oh no, I jumped into a vat of it from the word go. I have not been quite so drunk as that Sunday though,(or dying so much that follwoing morning...wandering round the house packing chanting in my head 'don't be sick, don't be sick, don't be sick'!!!!!!) but I think that may have had something to do with a bottle and half to two bottles of wine and 2 shots of sambuca on an empty stomache...........need I say more?!?!?!?! I am very proud of my self that on Thursday I not only managed to be up a good hour and a half before my appointment, ok, so that does admittedly mean that I was up at 9.15, but I had a friend staying and we didn't go to bed til about 2, and the night before a fairly similar story for going to bed, and was up at 9.30 on wed, so little me who needs her sleep did not get enough, anyways back to the point, which was...ummm......oh yeah, was up with less sleep than ideal, had all my blood drained from my body, and NO that is NOT an exaggeration (ummm...la la la...I might have just seen a flying pig....!!!) went to races and had a great time, got home, cup of tea, get changed and go back out. The amount of alcohol consumed shall remain a secret (3 big glasses of wine at the races, 3 or 4 glasses at a friends before going out, a champagne coctail and another with tequila and vodka I think in a bar....then go to the club and have 5 shots etc etc etc) AND I could still walk and talk!!!! I also discovered to my delight that they do bottles of cider woo!!! I luuuuuuurve cider! Except people thought I was drinking an alcopop...AS IF!!!!! They are rank!!! But my lovely little bottle of Strongbow (drunk with a straw, yes I am that classy, did you not know that to my fathers horror I also rather like vodka and lemonade........) made me VERY happy. I don't believe in half pints, and if I had had a pint I think I would have been on the floor!! So had a really good evening seeing loads of people I haven't seen in ages. The only arse was that some (excuse my language) fucking wanker took my camera....sob, moan, wail, beating of my breast!!! (So once again, if any one wants to contribute to the above mentioned charity, I can buy another one!!!) But the slight silver lining to a huge black cloud is that I nearly lost my signet ring,...someone might have spilt their shot all over my hand....and to be honest I would rather lose my camera than my ring! So umm yes, Thursday was a very fun if not just a little bit alcoholic day! Oooh, also had I bet at the races (we went to them in Perth) I would have won cause my horse (well obviously not mine.....) won the
race it was in. But as I have said many a time, betting and alcoholism run in my family and I embrace one and not the other!!!!

What else, hmmmm, my darling flatty has gone to France with her man for 10 days, so I am home alone in the flat til I go home...sob sob sob, but worry not, I will be ok!!! Why did I say that, not sure, maybe it's cause I was remembering that I was toying with going out again last night, but remembered I only had 5 and a half hours sleep the night before and I'm ill...not the cancer,...I have a bit of a sniffly cold, sob sob sob, actually I think it's developing into a BEAUTIFUL sinus infection...thought I'd share!! And that I promised Iona I'd stay up with her til she left (at 3am) so thought should prob stay in, and I'm going out tonight, so probably would have died, or at least had liver complaint!!!

Oh, the drug got approved that went up infront of the board last week, can't remember if I've said that or not...will get it when I go home when I go for a check up at the Hammersmith. Am also having a blood test when I go home at the local surgery before i go to the Hammersmith as I think they want to keep an eye on the old cell count, so will do my best to get the results on this, but as you all know, the internet at home is gay and I can't, or at least, I couldn't log in at home, might be able to now....

Don't know what else, was on a roll, but it has fizzled away.....
Ooooh, everyone LOVES my new hair, (really need to work out how to put pics on this thing) and have been said I look chic and sophisticated, woo, get in!!!! Moi, sophisticated!!!! (well sober me anyways!!)

Well I think I shall leave this one there for the moment, if I remember anything I shall post it later. Hope alls well with eveyone....

Love, laughter and smiles as always,
XXXXXXXXXXX

more tomorrow

Just a quick note as am just back from the races, and am off out, but thought I'd quickly wack my cell counts from todays check up down, as some of you may be check this today to see....
White cell count 59 (cause all the glevec has now worked it's way out of my system)
Platelets 617 (down from 700).

Hope alls groovy with you all...
XXX

And she's back in the Burg!!!

Weeel, I'm now back in the burg for 3 weeks to have fun and play with my buddies. I also discovered at the weekend that my alcohol tolerance is back up, woo!! Don't ask how much I had to drink cause I can't remember, but I do believe it was the 2 shots of sambuca that finished me off....felt rather ill the next morning, oh and that was also the morning that I had to sit in the car for 6 hours, oh and I also got home at 8.30 AM and hadn't packed....

So umm yes....

Saw the Dean of Under Graduates today and it was all very helpful. Basically I'm going to finish my 3rd year next year, and probably leave after that, even though I will only have a general degree, but I will also have the option to stay and do my final 4th (well 5th) year if I feel like it.....but I dunno, 5 years of uni, that's a long time, and another year of debt....

OOH on the plus side of getting back yesterday and opening my post, I discovered that I had been sent a disabled parking badge, WOO!!!! Free parking for the next 3 years!!!!!!!!!!!! Joy joy joy!!!!

What else, check up next Thurs, so watch this space for health update, I still feel wonderful off the drugs, lets hope this continues when I'm back on drugs!!

I've only hasd 2 cups of tea so far today and my body is complaining, so off I go to boil the kettle, and munch on some pineapple, oh have been doing a lot of raw food, and actually I'm enjoying it!! I'm still drinking tea, so that's ok, and I feel very energised of fruit, salad and lots of nuts, and the occasional chunk of cheese!!!

Right, off I toddle, not much to say, but thought I'd write a word or two, as I can log in to this at uni, woo!!

Lots of love, smiles and laughter!
XXXXXXX

news from the hammersmith Hospital

Weeeellllllllll, where to start??? I suppose the beginning, but that would be Jan 19th, and I've already written about all of that, so the beginning is not the place to start. So I'm afraid the Sound of Music was WRONG!!! You all with me?? No??? Never mind. (rubbish, pathetic. Where were you during your childhoods?? Obviously not watching the Sound Of Music on repeat!!!....on second thoughts, does that make me a loser??? Anyways...move on quickly Katherine, blab about something else, you'll confuse them even more and they wont have a clue about what your banging on about!!!!!!)

Ok, let's go back to the 17th April when I had my appointment at the hammersmith.

For once I did not feel that I was in God's waiting room as I did not go during their normal clinic, yay!! And why is that?? Cause I'm (cover your ears Grandma) fucking special, that's why.

So I met with a wonderful woman called Jane Apperly, whose Nephew is at Edinburgh...small world, anyways Katherine stop wondering off the point! Unlike in Edinburgh I saw her for about 45 minutes rather than the 30 seconds I have in the Burg which was really great, and she explained in normal English what was going on in my body which I hadn't really grasped. This is because when I was told in Edinburgh I was in the hospital when I was A) in shock and therefore my brain had shut down, and B) was told with lots of lovely medical and sciencey words so understood about 1%...so I now know what CML actually is, woo!!! We also had a long chat about Glevec (can't remember how to spell it now) and how I'm completely intolerant to it etc etc etc so have been taken off it for good. Due to this and my youth and otherwise good health etc they were talking a lot about how I may end up having a bone marrow transplant. Compared to in the Burg where they had every confidence in the drugs working and fixing me.....To be honest, if it does end up in a transplant I'm not that fussed. My hair, although I will initially loose it, will grow back curly, WOO!!! PARTY!!!! And Claudia has promised to shave her head, and lets face it that would be worth a giggle or 5000000000000000, so at least I would be bald and amused!!! The only part about it that I'm not too keen on is that it would make me effectivly infertile, so would have to have an operation to have part of my ovary removed and with it eggs to be frozen so I could have children in the future, but at least they can do that and leave me the option to have children, whereas not all that long ago, that probably wouldn't have been an option, and it would have been bye bye to having children for good. The transplant would also mean 100% cure rather than an oppresant (oppresent? Can't spell, is it even a word??? I do not know!!) which is what the chemo does, so that's my thoughts on that.

Well my thoughts for this moment in time, no doubt they will grow and change depending on what happens and on how I feel. At the moment I feel absolutely fantastic as I'm completley drug free, woo!! I didn't realise how much the drugs changed how I feel.

I had an interesting couple of days last week when I stopped taking my pain killers. I had not realise how powerful dhidhracodine (not sure on that spelling) were simply because they did not deaden the pain and I had to take ibroprufen on top of them. I went to a party on Saturday, ( I was very brave, not only did I go on my own knowing only about 5 people, I also was sober!!!!) and was sitting next to someone who had been on d...codine after some back surgery and said weren't they wonderful and amazing, and spaced you out and made you feel nothing. I promptly replied 'no, they are shit, and don't work' to his utter amazement!! He then said he had some valium if I wanted to take some......For those of you who are wondering why I took them if they didn't work properly, the reason is that I was terrified that I would be in so much more pain if I didn't take them. The sort of pain I was in was that I could hardly move and I was still in agony...oh the joys!!! Anyways, so last week I was finally pain free!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! For the first time since, Feb, or even the end of Jan, can't remember when I started to hurt, it all blends into one! So I promptly stopped taking them. 24 hours later, I felt and was sick, hot/freezing etc etc etc With out realising it I had gone cold turkey. I can tell you with my hand on heart that I seriously feel for junkies who go cold turkey, and I can understand why people get addicted in order not to go through it. On the plus side lost over half a stone in 3 days...GET IN!!!! PARTY!!!! Beat that Kev!!!! I have of course subsequently put a bit back on....sob!!! Mummy shush, I was not too thin! Anyways I shall stop banging on about my weight....

So what else. When I go back up to the burg on the 7th May I will have a check up at somepoint and talk to my edinburgh consultant about another drug I can go on, that is awaiting approval by the Nice board, whoever they are. If it is not approved, there is yet another drug that I can be put on under the guise of a trial. I can't remember if I've mentioned the trial I was asked to do when I was in the hospital and said no to cause there was an arm of it that involved injecting myself and I didn't want to do that so said no.. On reflection, thank god for that cause another arm was double the dose of Glevec, and imagine how ill I would have been on that, and they would no doubt have hauled me into hospital for observation bollocks....so anyways this other drug has actually had all the trial stuff done for it, but it's also waiting for approval of somesort, but it perfectly safe to take....so they would put me in the trial in order for it to be prescribed although the trial has actually already been done. THe only bugger is, there is no guarantee that they wont make me hurt....according to Jane Apperly (Hammersmith consultant) they don't know why the drugs make people hurt. Interesting! If I can't take either of these 2 other drugs, they will put me back on the Glevec but on a lower dose with an even more hard core painkiller if needed and gradually increase the dosage.

Well I think that's about it, my hands hurt as I've been typing non stop for about half an hour!!! I want all of you to know, that although drugwise it's a bit of an arse not knowing what's going on etc etc I'm really very happy at the moment, and I want NO sad thoughts!!!!

Oh, cell count, white count 10 which is normal (remember that doesn't mean better, I've still got a mix of good and bad white cells), which is pretty bloody good, platelets 700 which is rather high, meant to be 150-200 so am being posted a drug, which I've been on before to knock the count down. I've basically just got very thick blood at the mo, as platelets help the blood clot when you cut yourself. On the uni front, they are being arses and making my life very hard and not putting through what I want to happen in order to get back to work, as it were as soon as pos, so have the Kev on the case!! He he he They wont know what's hit them!!!!

So on that note, lots of love smiles and laughter, Nest update after my check up back in the burg,
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

News from Norfolk!

Yo yo yo, I'm back!!!

Well at the moment I am staying with my Grandparents in Norfolk. (My mummys ma and pa and am being spoilt and treated like a princess etc etc, as I should be!!!!) Due to them being very un grandparentish my grandma has a laptop and wireless (take note Kevin, you parents in law have wireless!!!) and I am able to acess my blog, so thought I'ld log in and write you all an update as the internet is stupid at home (maybe we need to update to a new wireless router!!) and I can't log in, and feel very neglectful of you all.


Well the last time I wrote something I was in London in my mummys office using a laptop there on the sly, so didn't write much as I had emailed myself a blog to post, and seem to remember adding a little one as well....

So now I have nice short hair, and have had many compliments about it. I think some were a bit wary of my chopping off so much in one go!!! For those of you who read this and have facebook, check it out. Not great pics of me, but they show the hair!! Anyways, so after the hairdresser checking with me about 50 million times that I wanted to cut all that hair off, he did, and I think he enjoyed having to much to cut off!! He also found a streak of grey which he thought was fabulous and amazing etc etc etc I did not. Thank god it's hidden by hair that sits on top of it. When telling my mother with an almost trembling lip she said, 'oh yes, I knew that, I found them when I was playing with your hair!' Thank you oh dear mother of mine for sharing that at home with me so Icould have had a good blub over it!!

On the whole blubbing note, I get a bit upset when things throw me, and found myself nearly in tears in the carphone warehouse of all places! The reasoning for this close blub was that I'm going to change my phone and tarrif, and network and thought that I would do it on Wed when I went into the happening place of Newbury so had it planned in my head that it would all happen, but no! the mobile gods were against me!!!! I'm doing this because I hate my phone with a passion. LG chocolate white. Very pretty, but a piece of shit. It does my head in!! So after going in and discussing the various ways of getting a new handset and keeping my number resulted in me having to buy a new handset, ( no way, the one I want costs £300..any generous doners???.....thought not) I got a bit depressed about the whole thing until I mentioned that I have insurence. A HA said the person in the shop. Due to this after having insurence for 6 months (as I do) you can change tarrif/network and get a new phone and you don't have to pay off the rest of your current contract, we do!!! YAY YAY YAY....PARTY WOO!!! BUT he said, you can't keep your number, arse, arse, bollocks, arse, becuase it is an arse changing your number, expecially when it will be your 3rd mob number in a year (don't ask) But after thinking about it, and as I have rubbish vodaphone reception at home, I thought, ok, I'll do it. So last Wed, went into the carphone warehouse to do the swap, and was asked, 'do you have your charger? Box that you got the phone in? No....sorry, you can't get your new contract, oh and you do realise you have to give your phone in now.' And I was not prepared for this, stupid arse that I spoke to the week before hadn't told me any of this, and as I said previously, I don't take shocks well.....so I took some deep breaths, and left the shop quickly with brimming eyes. I took control of myself and went back to find out exactly what I had to give in when I change my phone. I also found out that the deal I want is not available yet with the Nokia I want, even though the bloke I spoke to the week before said it was. I was very adult, said I'd wait a month and do it when I can get the phone on T mobile. For some reason T mobile has great coverage at home and in flats that have reception black spots in Edinburgh. So am now stuck with stupid bloody phone and network for another month. That was not why I have told you about my mobile issues, but because I nearly started crying becuase the outcome was not what I expected it to be!! Bewarned, I have to be handled with care!!

Ok, onto the medical stuff which is the only reason (I assume)why you read this. After spending a week off the Glivec due to the stupid amounts of pain, and upping the pain killer dosage to 60mg of codine plus 200mg of ibroprufen every 6 hours and still not being able to move or sleep, I went back on it, and on Easter Sunday (5 days after being back on it) the pain came on really suddenly, and I had a chattering jaw on top of it. (as if I was shivering). So have been taken off it once again, and when I have my check up on Tues on London, I am being put on a different drug, (as I am now officially Glivec intolerant), at this moment in time, I can't remember what it's called. I assume it does the same sort of stuff as the Glivec.

I have also sorted out uni stuff, fingers crossed. I am going to finish my third year next year, and either graduate witha three year degree from Edinburgh, so I have a qualification of somesort, and graduate with all my buddies...with the option to go back and do a final fourth year and finish honours if I feel like it. At the moment 5 years of uni is not that appealing, but we shall see what I feel like when we get there. I also know that one of my friends is staying in edinburgh for a year after graduating as she is doing an art course, so I know I can live with her if I go back and do a fouth year.

What else, I don't know really. I'm loving being at home and looked after and am planning lots of holidays over the summer. I have at least 4 weeks of holidays so far!! As I'm not working, I might as well go abroad and get nice and brown, and really enjoy not working, as most holidays I work, and don't have much time off!! So I'm making up for it this summer!!

I have no idea what else to say, so shall bugger off before this becomes really dull!!

Hope all is well with everyone, and they are enjoying the beautiful sunny weather!!

Lots of love, laughter and smiles as usual!!!

XXX

a quickie

Dear all,

Sorry for being so quiet, for some reason I can't log into my blog at home, so I am using a laptop very briefly in Mummys office before I get all my hair cut off.

been off the chemo for a week due to pain, back on tonight, fingers crossed it all goes ok!! Check up on the 17th April and that's about it.

Having issues with uni, so watch this space about if I go back etc etc etc

Lots of loce laughter and smiles as usual!!
XXX

home sweet home

Dear all,

I know I have been neglecting you, and I knows its annoying when you want to know how I am, but I’ve been having a bit of a rough time with side affects recently, and the thought of doing anything has just been unbearable. The good news though is that I have been taken off the Glivec for a week, so I am nearly pain free, woo!!! I have no new cell counts as I haven’t had a check up recently. I am now home, and have been for a week which is truly wonderful as I am with the rentals, and the cats! I tell you what, if you ever feel a bit off, and you have a cat, cuddle it, if you don’t have one, go to a friends who does and cuddle theirs…it does wonders!

Hmmm, news, news, news, think, think, think. Well ummm,……had 2 friends come over yesterday which was great as I haven’t really seen anyone since coming home, so it was nice to have a chat and catch up with the gossip…me! gossip! NEVER!!! (ok, well maybe a little bit, but I’m very good at keeping my mouth shut, so fret not!!)

What else, I don’t know, I was really in the typing mood a minute ago, but it has flown off.

I having my next check up in a week or so I do believe at the Hammersmith Hospital, so shall either get all my hair chopped then, or maybe before hand. Claudia was trying to convince me to get it cut REALLY short and choppy, but I’m no way brave enough to do that, so will go for a straightforward bob I think, but with some shaping round the face. Am going to talk to the hairdresser about it. On a hair note, it is getting a bit thicker again which is great, because for a little but I was really rather worried about the hair situation, not only with the amounts falling out (that still happens, but I’m not as worried as I’m obviously not going to lose it) and at how thin it was, but thankfully, that is slowly changing!

I’m trying to think if there is anything else of interest to say, don’t want to bang on about how little I’ve been doing as it’s dull!

Nope, nothing is happening. Well at least I have written something and that you know that generally everything is ok!

Ooh, I know, the weekend before I came home, Mummy and Claudia came up to see me and we went to the Pixar exhibition. I know that it was in London, so probably won’t go back, but if any of you are somewhere and it’s on, go and see it, it’s amazing!! Even if you are not a huge fan of things like Finding Nemo, and Toy Story, it’s still am amazing thing to go to!

Well that’s it for today me thinks, unless I remember something mind blowingly fantastic to say (the goldfish continues to act as my memory) , I doubt it, but you never know!!

Lots of love, smiles and laughter,
XXX

Last check up before coming home for Easter

Well hello, yes I'm back, sorry to have been neglecting you all this last week or so, I am crap, I have no excuse, and yeah.

Soooooo had a check up this morning, white blood cell count down to 15.7, woo, ,gone down a whole .3 in two weeks!!! I know, not quite the big drop compared to previous weeks, but I guess it's cause there are far fewer bad cells, so the drop will be far less impressive. I asked today what my actual count when I went in and it was 399!!! Have I mentioned that I was only a couple of days away from being a 999 call?? If yes, sorry for repeating myself, if not, well I shall tell you now. I have been told that if I hadn't gone to the doctors when I was forced to by my flatty, I would, well have collapsed and not been able to move, but I would have been rushed in to hospital in an abulance, with the siren going and everything!!!! I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOO upset that I missed out on that!!! How much more dramatic would my story be?!?!?!?!?! AND I would have been put on oxygen, grrrr, the things I miss out on!!! Apparently I also should have had a plastic bracelet thing with my name and age on when I was in the hosptial, and didn't get one, sob, but it's all good cause my student nurse buddy is going to steal me one, he he he....no it's not really theft from the government as it's NHS property, cause I didn't get one when I should have done!!!

Anyways moving on swifty!!!

So um yeah, what else. No one came up last weekend to see me, sob, wail, moan, but to be honest had a nice time with all my buddies up here, so wasn't really affected by it! had mi pa up the weekend before and had a luurverly time, also the clothes present fairy came with him which was great! Did not a lot with him, had a nice luch party on the sun with 9 of us and everyone was very impressed with the Kevlas cooking!!! what else? ummm, la la la, got given a filofax, I think that might have been previously mentioned, but I'm still elated with that, along with beautiful little lovely wonferful new laptop!!!

Oh yes, have decided that I'm going to cut my hair, for those of you who haven't seen me in a long time, will be like, oh, that's nice, cheers for sharing (what a bloody dull think to mention)! I am mentioning it cause my hair is sooooooooooooooooooooooo long, way past the botton of my shoulder blades, and I'm going to get it chopped to in between the bottom of my ear and jaw, so it is actually quite a big thing! The reason for deciding this is is because it does fall out quite a lot, and it's really thin (compared to how it used to be, only I notice this...) so thought if I lop it all off it might grow back wavy/curly (fingers crossed) and can grow back (fingers crossed) nice and thick like it used to be!

There was something else that I was about to say, but as usual it has gone!

Mummy and Claudia are up this weekend which will be really nice and then I'm home next fri or sat. I think my body is telling me that I'm doing too much. The pain is not great and constant, so I will go home, lie on the sofa with my cat and so sweet F A !! If any of you have arthritus and you have shooting pain in the joints, i sympathise with you like you wouldn't believe!! It SUCKS!!

So yeah, I think that's all, oh I've put on weight which has really pissed me off, it's all of about 2 kilos, 4.4 pounds, which I know isn't a lot, and it probably a good thing, but I would much rather that I hadn't, so I think the days of eating cake all day, have sadly gone!

Shall blog again this week if I think of anything else, ooh, wont be having another check up for about a month, and will be seen by a specialist at the Hammersmith hospital as I'm obviously not just going to pop up to the Burg to have a check up when I'm 400 miles away!

Lots of love, smiles and laughter,
XXX

A tiny post

I know I promised that I would write yesterday and that it would be a nice long lovely happy blog, and I know I promised someone I would write a poem but to be honest, I still hurt, have been to an exhibition AND Tesco, ooh and managed to spend very little! Anyways so I'm very tired with nadda to say really....will blog when have more energy, sorry to be so rubbish! Am home for Easter on the 26th March, so if anyone wants to see me, let me know!

XXX

not very long, more tomorrow

Dear all,

Well I'm afraid there are no medical updates this week as I haven't had a check up which is good as it shows that everything is getting much better and I don't have to be monitered so closely.

Not much to report at this moment in time, will probably post again tomorrow as I'm tired and really can't be arsed! Been feeling the side affects quite badly in the last few days.....where's the morphine I sobbed into my pillow!! Well not quite, but wasn't far from it! Also my beautifully worked out plan about exams and what the uni would let me do has not turned out how I wanted it to, so get the feeling a rant is coming on, and I don't want to depress my beloved readers so shall shit up.

There is good news this week, I am typing away on a BEAUTIFUL new laptop! Woo, thank you West Berkshire council. I also got a filofax, thank you cancer charity type people and what else, ooh yes, got clothing and the like from rents this week, so not all is bad! There was something else, but I can't remember!! ....have remembered, I managed to get all my music off my ipod onto my new laptop, for those of you who understand how hard that is, feel free to think how wonderous and clever I am...if anyone else wants to do this, let me know and I'll tell you how I did it!!

I'm going to bugger off, but I promise a more light hearted happy and funny (well I normally find what I write funny) tomorrow.

Lots of love, smiles and laughter.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX

and she's back at uni!!

Dear all, sorry there was no post yesterday, but as I have put two random posts up this week, I didn't think you'd mind too much!!

Ok, so what has happened in this last week, hmmmmmmmmm

I had my cousin (Tave) up to see me over the weekend which was really nice, and Milo and Lottie (his ex) came up on the Sunday. I cooked, well me and Tave cooked, what I have to say was rather a yummy lunch! Roast chicken with mashed potatoes, carrots, and yummy yummy creamy tarragon sauce!! It was soooooooo good!! I also got from Milo my little bag of goodies! Series 5 of 24, so I have 2 series to watch with Mummy when I go home for easter. 36 hours of Jack Bauer(I think that's how it's spelt), I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!! Along with some other dvd's, and some yum fruit from Lottie. For those of you who haven't looked at this since last week, look below for a rant on the price of food!! This rant occured after a very exciting trip to Tesco. Yes it was exciting as I hadn't been to a supermarket since the christmas hols, and yes my life is that un eventful at the moment and yes I am sad enough to find it exciting!!

Anyways, so after my hospital check up last week did nadda, Tave arrived on the Fri mid pancake cooking....I really felt like some! And on we did nothing other than watch dvd's...series one of the office, very very funny!!! Saturday was filled with Tesco, and watching series one of Extra's, highy highly amusing!! And went to see Music and Lyrics, also very funny. I don't know if any of you have had the cold slush puppy type drink that Fanta does at the cinema?? Anyways, it's amazing cause not only is it cold and sweet, but fizzy too!! Crazyness, anyways, I wanted one of those rather than eat anything as it seems, no matter how poor I'm feeling, I HAVE to buy something at the cimena! Yes, I know it's completely rediculus, but there we go....so I asked for one, but the machine had only just been turned on, and wasn't cold enough, so I had to buy some galaxy minstrels...£3.1o it cost!!! I'm not even going to start ranting about that!! I should have taken a bag of hula hoops from home, but as I wasn't going to eat anything I didn't bother, and then I HAD to buy something, and oh god!! I tell you what, my life is sooooooooooooooo strenuous at the moment! All you with jobs etc have no idea, you think your life is sometimes a bit stressful, try being me and being forced into buying non needed stuff at the cinema, not by someone else, but being forced into it by myself!! It's tough!! So anyways, film watched, enjoyed, home, bed.

Sunday, spent the morning doing the food, mucking around on the internet, eventually having a shower, and waiting for Milo and Lottie. Ate far too much, felt sick, (tave left for her train) made milky tea, forced some buscuits down my gob whilst watching a film, Confetti, with Milo and Lottie(very funny, fely very single after it, sob, won't start my rant on that!!) and felt less sick. Don't know how that one works, but there we are! After that M and L left, had supper and went to bed.

On monday went to the disability office for a needs assessment test, basicaly, yes I do need a new laptop, scanner/printer combo, digital voice recorder, book allowance, photocoping allowence, someone to get stuff from the library for me, and photocopy stuff for me as I have no energy and need to work form the flat/home/maybe hospital if I spend more time there etc etc which is all rather groovy!! And then I .....wait for it.....I...went....to....a......shrink, no but maybe I should, hmmm shall ponder on that one....a....LECTURE!!!!! Yes I did, I am officially back at uni, WOO!!!!! The uni have lent me a digital recorder til I get mine, and I recorded the lecture so I don't exhaust myself listening and writing notes!!! It was sooooo good to be back!!! I have also been to 2 tutorials since, which do really tire me out, but I need to go otherwise I'll go crazy, miss more work, stress myself out etc etc etc And I enjoy it, well not the getting tired bit, but the learning bit. I can also drive in now and park behind my building which is sooooooo much better than waiting for the bus getting on the bus, getting off the bus, walking down the street, and then doing all of that on the way back. It's also cheaper!! As the bus is one squid each way, and that all adds up pretty quickly!

Tuesday went to a tutorial, and I can't remember what else, can't really remember what I did on Wed either, hmmm....not a lot probably!!

Thursday dawned far to early, had to be up at 8.30 as I was getting the bus to my apointement as for once the 2 quid on the bus is cheaper than a taxi (12 quid total) 0r a parking ticket cause there is no where to park ,which I discovered in previous weeks!! So left home at 9.30 in the rain to walk to the bus stop, not only did I get up early to go, it was raining AND my umbrella was broken, so I looked stupid with it! I look stupid with is anyways cause I bought it from a tourist shop (was near it when the heavens open in the first year, only option and it cost 6 quid!!) and was therefore bright red tarten! Now I can hear some of you saying that you like red tarten, I'm sure it is nice, but not on an umbrella in Edinburgh!! So I suppose I'm quite happy it's broken cause I shall get a new one! (thanks Daddy!!!) And I looked stupid cause one of the arms had snapped so one side hung down...anyways... so I got to the bus stop! And met my friend Martha there. We had a great time waiting for my appointment, hang on, that was another palava....the stupid receptionist had not listened to me properly, cause she was on the phone whilst booking my appointment, and booked me in not for yesterday even though I had said for NEXT WEEK after my last appointment, but for in 2 weeks time, so I got in trouble!!! Which I thought was unfair as I don't have a functioning brain at the moment, and didn't know that yesterdays date was the 22nd not the 27th (which was what was written down) so after lots of sighing and humphing and screwed up facial expressions, they managed to fit me in. So I had to wait AAAAAAAAAAAGES, but on the plus side me and Martha took full advantatge of the toys they have! Well, of the paper and crayons anyways. Yes we were acting 22 years of age, not 5, I promise!! So after playing games I finally saw Dr. Shepherd.

My white cell count is now down to 16.5 which is half of last weeks count, which is great!! It also means that my check ups are further apart, my next one is in two weeks, and yes, I did double check that!! I also saw my clic sargent yesterday who is a social worker and she is sorting out money for me, and a disabled parking badge, and is going to see what other grants and allowences I'm able to get. She is very aware that students need every penny, and she said she doesn't want me to miss out on even 5p, which is wonderful!!

Yesterday afternoon we had shrove thursday (as Iona, my flatty was busy on Tuesday) which was really nice, but unfortunately I was dead on my feet from my busy morning and seeing Patricia (social worker person) so when everyone arrived, I was useless and did sod all to help. I did wash up later, so I suppose that's something!!
As I was up at 8 this morning, (I went to a tutorial that starts at 9), and as I was so tired last night, I was in bed by 8.45, and asleep by just after 9, so check out the party girl!!

I think that's about it really, I hope my next post will be written on my lovely new laptop, can't wait!!!

Lots of love, laughter and smiles,
XXXXXXXXXXx

Another thought

For those of you who don't know, and are wondering why I haven't gone home it's because my consultant up here is the leading consultant in CML in Europe, if not the world!! If I've said this already...sorry, remember I'm a goldfish!!

Next big post tomorrow, bet you can't wait!!!

XXX

a rant...but indulge me please!

I know you are thinking, another post?!?! But it's not Thursday!!!! Well for those of you who can't comprehend this, pretend it's Thursday!!

Ok, so yesterday, Saturday, me and my cousin (Tave) went to Tesco...the first time I've been in a supermarket since the Christmas holiday, so as you can imagine I was pretty excited!!! So I thought, ok buy fruit as you get a box of organic veg a week. I also got a chicken and a couple of other things. As I loaded up my trolley, one of the little ones, not a big one, so I did show some restraint....I thought, well it's pointless eating crap food, get food with nutrience in so went for the organic option. There is a reason why only people with lots of money eat organic. It costs a fucking fortune!!! NINETY NINE pounds my bill came to....ninety nine pounds for some fruit and a couple of other things!! MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! No wonder there are so many mal nulriched (or however it's spelt) fattys in this country. It's cause with the amount I spent on fruit, you could go to iceland or farmfoods and buy enough frozed food to feed a family of 5 for three months!!!!! I'm still in shock!!! So to feel better went to the cinema, and for once though how cheap it is!

So anyway my lovelies off I go to check on the organic chicken (10 pounds!!!!that is the cost, not the weight, although thinking about it, it's not far off ten pounds in weight!) and enjoy every mouthful!! If this is the last blog it's cause I can't afford to pay for electricity!!! Donations welcome!
Much love and laughter and smiles as usual!!
XXX

And the white blood cell count keeps on lowering!

Well what to say? hmmm....have just had my lunch so no doubt post eating sleepyness will kick in and what I say will be all over the place!! Also had a hobnob, baaaad idea cause once you nibble you're nobbled, and I'm nobbled, bugger, must resist temptation of eating more. On a plus point, at the moment I seem to be eating an impressive amount of cake and buscuits and not putting on any weight, woo!! No doubt shall get my comeuppance at somepoint and balloon over night like I did with the water retention...those were a couple of stunning days...me thinks NOT!! Anyway...

Right, ok, what's happened since I was last typing, hmmm......memory has gone blank, so much so I'm giggling cause I can't remember last week! Oh god, I'm waiting for the men in white coats to appear!

Ooh, I remember (phew!) Mummy came back up and arrived last Fri morning, got an overnight coach, the loon! So Prison Break series one resumed, and what a rollar coaster of emotions that was!! It's amazing, not as good as 24, I'm still loyal to Jack, but Prison break is pretty good as well. (I kept on expecting Jack to turn up and save the day...special, I know I am veeeery special!) So series one complete, the arse is that I'm not sure where series 2 is on tv etc etc, so might have to wait for it to be released on dvd...oh and also, even if you don't like the series, it's nice just staring at wentworth miller!! (born near oxford, grew up in the states, no I'm not stalking or obsessing I SWEAR!) Moving on swiftly. So mummy was here, and we had a great time, saw my DOS (Director of Studies) who was great and has organised a parking space for me behind my building at uni, everyone is soooooo jealous!! he he he, mwah ha haha, yes I'm being very nice about it all! He also agrees that I can do my work whenever which is coolio. I aim to have my two course essays done by the end of term, and then do my project that I've meant to be doing all year, la la la la, over the summer.

Just been on the phone to my friend in Italy so I have completely lost my thread, but don't panic Mr. Mannering, I shall type some more rubbish and hope that I remember what I was going to say...

Ahh yes, the weekend with my munmy....so on Sunday evening just before she was due to go, my friend turned up from Newcastle to stay for a couple of days which was great as he ran around after me and made me cups of tea and helped make food etc etc He even combatted 'man flu' to do it (he sneezed a couple of times!!...ok, maybe he has a cold but anyways') We also had a play fight in Rapidos (most amazing take away in Edinburgh, and yes, pizza is highly nutritious, protien in the cheese and salami, vitamins etc in the sun driend tomatoes, red onion and artichokes, and carbs in the base!!) when he declared that he was far iller that me with man flu and needs a hip replacement (he hurt it, don't know how, probably by being a pratt!) and I retaliated with I'm worse, I have cancer and might need new bone marrow!!! Shop goes silent, lots of 'oh my god' looks, I laugh, and slope off to a chair and sit veeery quietly! Maybe I shouldn't make jokes about cancer loudly in public places?!?!? Anyways it made me laugh, and as far as I'm concerned, laughter is bloody good medicine, so shall continue to make really bad un pc jokes about it wherever I am! So having Pete up was great, got lots of nice hugs, especially after mummy left with the what appears to be customary blubbing!

monday consited of tea, buscuits, cake, oh and some fruit and veg and dvd's all day!! Was wonderful! Tuesday was pretty busy, I walked half way down princes street (the main shopping street) and managed to spend not a penny! Well done me!! Even when going past lots of clothes shops with so many pretty bags and shoes. there was many a sigh and whistful glance, and 'ooh Pete...they're pretty' hint hint, nudge nudge, but unfortunately all hints flew over his head as he was out to buy a present for valentines day for his girlfriend (vomit....sodding couples, and no, I'm not at all bitter!) but I did get a HUGE hot chocolate, so was a happy bunny after all. I did some gameboy perusing as I'm going to get one and it's going to be a COLOUR one, am soooooooooo excited. yes I am 22 you're point being?!?!?!? so that tired me out successfully. Yesterday I got up, only because I forgot it was Valentines day, I was going to stay in bed all day! And had a lovely supper with some friends with a HUGE chocolate cake which was amazing!

Today, being Thursday was an important day as I had my check up. I am now only on Glivec and my white blood cell count is 34. I found out what it should be...10 so slowly but surely I'm getting rid of the little buggers. When I was admitted into the hospital, 4 weeks ago, the cell count was over 330, so I'm now a million times better now than I was. More cell count news next week!

Generally I've been feeling great and happy, the only arse is achey limbs and sore joints, but that's when my little buddy codine comes in. Oh by the way, whoever invented the codine bottle is a pratt. Neither me, mummy or Iona (my darling flate mate) could open it, so thank god I didn't need them til after Pete opened the bottle. What if I had been all on my own with NO ONE to help?!?! How do little old ladies get to their drugs????? Just thought I'd rant a bit on that one!

Well I think that's it...I can hear the hobnobs calling me....shhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

So me thinks I shall bugger off now! Thank you to those of you who have sent cards over the last week, on that note, have I thanked the rest of you?? Well of not, sorry, I'm shit, and am still a goldfish! But I hope you know that even if I haven't said it via this or an email, I am grateful for the cards and support etc etc etc

So until next week, much loves, smiles and laughter,
XXX

and another week has flown by

Well it's my second week (is it?? my memory is shot, I am a goldfish at the moment) out of the hospital and it feels like I was there years ago! It's also half way through the semester which is a little bit scary as we dont' have a summer term and after easter it's exams! Various four letter words come to mind, but I have to remember about who is reading this, so shall control my language, the occasional word like shit might slip out, but I hope it offends not!!

So umm yeah. What's happened this week?? Well last Saturday my little Mummy left, cue tears and highly dramatic 'I CAN'T COPE!!!! DON'T GO!!!!' sob, bawl (attractive puffy red eyes and snotty nose...NICE!!!) But alas, she was firm but kind, 'man up Katherine, man up'! Well not quite those words, but saying that makes it more interesting, and may even envoke a smile ot two from my beloved readers!..no? Oh well, all of you have rubbiish sense of humours! Anyways before I start abusing you all about not finding things that make me giggle (basically anything, and the more awful and unfunny it is, the more I laugh!) anyway I shall continue with my week. So Mummy left, but Claudia was here to look after me, and we had people over from Glasgow on Sat and Sun (thank you Daisy, Jonny and Tashi for coming over....) and a fun filled weekend. Milo came up on the Sunday as well. He has renamed Sunday present Sunday, which to be honest I think is a bloody good name for it!! So I have yet more DVD's and the most amazingly soft tights to add to my collection of presents. And I promise, this is not a hint for you all to rush out and buy me things, I of course won't say no if you do.....Sorry, need to get on with how I am or this will go on for pages, concentrate Katherine, concentrate...So monday dawned familyless and to be honest, I managed fine and have eaten and still consumed copious amounts of tea, so fret not!! My flatty has also been wonderful with looking after me, as have the flat across the road. I have also had a visitor from Italy who was up for a week, and a friend from home up to see me, so although the family have cut the umbilical cord, I am anything but alone!

What else, I'm sorry for the rambling and cutting from one topic to another, but it's how my mind is at the mo! Ooh yes, went to see my tutors, who have been fab, and basically have told me to PANIC NOT!!! Do the work when I can and get it in by 4th year, woo!! So that's amazingly groovy as I have nooooooo work pressure at all. I think if I'm not up to it, I'll be able to sit the exams in August if I can't in May which is also good as it gives me just a little bit more time....

Everything seems to being going well on the drug front. Had a check up today and I think my consultant, Dr. Shepherd is happy with everything. The only arse is that I've started to feel side affects from the Glivec, but only achey (not sure about how that one is spelt! And no, I can't be arsed to look it up in the dictionary!) limbs, so have been given Codine if I need it. Unfortuately when in hospital and in pain due to my spleen being HUGE!! Ok, little diversion and some medical info, normally you can't feel the spleen it's that small, mine is not 1cm big at the mo. After it had reduced in size in the hospital it was 10 cm big, and at the hight of pain it was basically all the way up the left hand side of my torso! When it was huge it hurt a lot, so they gave me codine, and nadda happened, so they gave me liquid morphine!! I LOVED the taste of it, most people don't like it. Due to my liking it a liiitle bit too much they stopped me having it which really upset me, so today I was like oooh maybe I'll get morphine again, but alas no, they wouldn't. sob sob, bloody NHS bastards!!!

If I remember correctly my red blood count is 100 and my white is 124 ish so that's brill as 3 weeks ago the white cell count was 20 times as high, so the drugs do work, so sorry The Verve (90's band for those of you who don't know...) you were WRONG! (My reasoning for saying that is they sang 'cause the drugs don't work they just make you worse....' see where my logic went?!?!?...no?? Nevermind!)

Well ummm, I have no idea what else to say, and I think many of you will read that with great relief!! So untill next time (prob next thurs)....ooh just remembered something not that it's very interesting at all. Went with Claudia on Sun to the hospital as she had to have a blood test to see if she's a match to me if I need a transplant and I went back to my unit and saw all my lovely nurses. One gave me a huge hug and when I said I missed them all as I had such a great time on the unit (I DID!!!) I didn't want to go, she called me a peculiar child. I'm not am I?!?!?!?
Much love and gratitude for all the support etc etc blah blah blah
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (and no, I am not certifyably (and YES, that IS a word!!!) insane!)

been home for a week

Well I have now been out of the hospital for a week...it has been really nice to get home after the initial shock of being told I could go. What they don't realise in hospital is that you get very used to being there very quickly, and actually I wasn't too keen to leave my en-suit, my tv and dvd player, my fridge and all the lovely nurses that came to see me the second I pressed a red button! I also in a highly rational way thought that they didn't love me anymore and that they thought I wasn't ill, which hurt, A LOT!! But after being home for 5 mins I realised how nice it was to be out, to breath fresh air and to have tea in a decent sized mug! It also meant that my darling Daddio would head back south, which I didn't want, but would be replaced with my little Mummy which I was looking forward to as I hadn't seen her in a week. So what's been going on this week? Not much, everyone is still be as great as ever, coming to see me, making tea for me, bringing me presents...not that I'm keeping a record or anything!! (yes Milo, you are still winning by miles!!) I've been feeling much the same as I was in hospital. Not spending as much time is La La Land, and I've been able to read as well which means my concentration is coming back which is coolio. My temperature has stayed normal the entire time which is also great, cause they would probably haul me back in if it went up again. I've been on Glivec for a week and so far no bad side affects which is fab, as it means that crossed fingers, I won't have any.

I had my first check up yesterday and my white bllod cell count has gone up a bit, so I'm back on a drug with a name that goes on forever, one I can't pronnounce, and certainly can't spell, so for all of you who want to check everything online, sorry!! The drug kills off all white blood cells so will get the count back down again. I'm only on 2 pills a day instead of the 6 a day that I was on in the hospital, so it can't be too bad, or I wouldn't have been allowed back home.

A nurse/social worker type person has been to see me and is going to get as much money possible out of the government for me, so that's groovy. I also might be getting a disabled persons badge for my car which is highly amusing, and more money from cancer charities to help pay my phone bill etc I also get a disabled person (or something) allowence every month, so all in all this being ill malarky is proving to be really quite good!!

Off to the pub for a diet coke, as I had 3 sips of wine the other night and nearly fell off my chair! yes, she has become a one drink wonder, so she is going (not sure why I'm referring to myself in the third person, worrying, very worrying!!!!) to start drinking champagne!! Woo!!

So anyways, that's it for the mo, will type away again when there is more to say, ooh I nearly forgot, along with CML being most common amongst men aged 40-60, only about 500 people get it a year, so I am truely a very special person!!

Once again, thank you to you all for being so amazingly fab!

Loadsa Love and smiles, XXX

an amusing fact!

Just remembered something about CML that made me laugh when I first read it...
CML is most common between MEN aged 40-60, so I'm glad I fitted into the catagory correctly!!!
XXX

website links if you want more info

Here are two really good (so I've been told, have yet to look at them....) cancer websites for those of you who want to know more.
www.macmillan.org.uk
www.click4tic.org.uk

Any other cancer websites will also tell you things, the above websites were given to me by a nurse at the hospital.

XXX

First week

Well as you are aware I have Chronic Myeloid Leukaemia (CML), that was discovered last Friday. The lead up to this was feeling so so tired, light headed, no concentration and nearly feinting twice, and I just don't do that, so thought I would toddle off to the doctors to see what was wrong. There was guessing from low blood sugar levels to anemia. The docor had no idea what was wrong, so handed me over to the nurse who took ALL my blood! That night I got a phone call from the General Western Hospital who said that they had found something odd in my blood, and that a haemotologist would be ringing me. He did and said that I had a white blood cell count 20 times higher than it should be, and I asked what that could mean and I was told Leukaemia. So off I toddled to the hospital. I spent a week there whilst they took ALL my blood for testing etc etc etc. Whilst there I had a rather impressive fever and rash which they wanted to calm before starting me on a wonder drug call Imatinib and/or Glivec, (Gleevec in the States) which is designed to get rid of only the nasty white blood cells and to stop my bone marrow from producing any more of the little buggers. This means that none of my other blood cells or any other part of my body can be harmed by the drug, which is fantastic!!

This is obvioulsy a condensed tale of what happened, I could list all the hospital meals I had, what the consultants said every day and who came to see me, but that would go on forever , and to be honest I can't be arsed!! So at this point, before I go to think about what to say for my being back in the flat post, I would like to thank everyone who came to see me, and for all the cards, emails and positivity from you all. Everyone has been so fantastic and there will never be words enough to thank you all. Keep it going, as by being positive you keep me positive which keeps you positive and a good circle of positivity happens! Also remember that I am going to be fine, and go into remission so there is no need for sadness or anything like that! I have begun to ramble, so shall bugger off! Feel free to comment and correct my spelling mistakes!
Loadsa Love and big smiles to you all!!!
XXX